There are moments in life when even a picture doesn't do it justice. What I do love though is that at least the pictures trigger the memories, and then we can let our minds run wild with thoughts of it...the smells, the feelings, the emotions, the sounds, and all the other "things" happening outside of the boundaries of the picture. Anyways, a few nights ago, I went into Aubrey's room, just to do one last check before I went to bed myself. I never know what I'm going to find cuddled in her bed with her. (She's been known to sleep with porcelain figurines, though she pulls those into her bed only after we've tucked her in). On this night, I went in only to find my own baby doll, Debbie, from my childhood, tucked in tight next to her. This alone would have made my heart melt, but it was the fact that she had turned Debbie's neck to lie more comfortably on the pillow, and then the fact that she completely gave up the pillow for the doll. I really just saw myself in that moment - the child version of me, where my dolls were real, and I was their mommy. Debbie was only one doll among many, but she was the most special. I held onto her never knowing if anyone would ever pay attention to her again. Seeing her in Aubrey's bed reminded me of the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, one of my favorite children's books, where a young boy loves a doll into existence.

Anyone who knows me knows that I was born a devoted "mom" and that, until my imagination was replaced by thoughts of clothes, friends and boys, my dolls were my world. I just see so much of myself in Aubrey, the good and the bad, but I love that I can almost see me as I was then. When I look at this picture, I can smell Aubrey's sweet, child smell, and then imagine Shelby asleep in the next room over, Jeremy reading a book in bed, and me just standing there, being so grateful for it all!

"Debbie" and Aubrey, asleep in bed. Despite what the flash did to the picture, this was taken on Christmas Eve night around midnight and the room was pitch black! Debbie is still being loved after all these years!